


If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

by ashleywritesthings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Cheating, Cheating Louis, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Break Up, Love, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Smut, Top Harry, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:05:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleywritesthings/pseuds/ashleywritesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis cheats on Harry.</p><p>This is probably trash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

**July**

Louis was sitting on the floor in their bedroom; the one they’d spent hours, days, months, years of their lives together in. He was wearing one of Harry’s jumpers and the sleeves went way past his hands so he rolled them up just enough to let his slim fingers stick out. Louis thought maybe if Harry just smelled him on the jumper when he went to wear it next that it would be enough. It would be all it took for Harry to break, to call Louis and tell him it was okay.

But it wasn’t okay.

Things would never be okay again.

Louis knew he should be moving quicker, he’d been given exactly 5 hours to ‘get the shit out of the house and just fucking leave’ and the clock was showing 3 of those hours had already passed. All Louis had successfully done was sob into the sheets that laid across the mattress he’d never share with Harry again and pack one box of his things which were also Harry’s things and he wasn’t quite sure where to draw the line.

Maybe he should have drawn it the night he met her.

Maybe he should have drawn it before he held her hand in the cab.

Maybe he should have drawn it before he let her kiss his neck, and not in the spot he liked, not like Harry did.

Or used to.

Harry wouldn’t kiss that spot again, he wouldn’t kiss any part of Louis again and Louis himself was the only one to blame.

 

**Earlier 2015**

 

“I just want some time alone, I love you, I love you so much I swear I can feel my heart about to beat out of my chest…it’s so full…every part of your love fills me up but I just, everything is changing and I need a minute to breathe.”

“But I’m right here louis, I’m the constant, I’m the thing that doesn’t change so why is it me you’re running away from?”

“I’m not bloody running away, I’m taking a few days to myself. I just want to breathe somewhere without feeling weight crushing my shoulders each time I try to inhale.”

“Well I’m sorry Louis that I add to the weight that is killing you, have a safe trip, I’m leaving.”

“Harry wait, just, you know that’s not what I meant.”

“The sad thing is louis, that’s not something I’m so sure of anymore.”

And with that Louis saw the curly haired boy he’d loved for years walk out of their home, start his car, and drive away without looking back. In his frustration, and maybe a little bit to spite Harry, he picked up a photo of the two of them and threw it on the ground, needing to hear it shatter. Then he sighed and picked up his backpack before he called Alberto to drive him to the airport.

“You don’t look so good lad.” Alberto told him as he pulled up to the home Louis and Harry shared.

“Been a long day, just ready to be alone and feel the sun.”

“We’ll get you there Louis.” Alberto smiled before pulling down the long drive and turning towards the airport.

The drive went relatively slow considering how close Louis and Harry actually lived to the airport, but Louis thought it was more in his mind than anything. He wondered if he should have cleaned up the glass, wondered if he should have grabbed Harry’s arm and kissed him hard before he left, wondered if it would have fixed it or made it worse. When he couldn’t come up with the answers he just shook his head and closed his eyes and waited for the car to stop.

“We’re here.” Alberto told him as he pulled their car up to the secure entrance at the back of the airport.

Louis would catch a flight to LA and hide out in the home he shared with Harry there for a few days. A few days alone, sans Alberto for safety and a bit for support, to not be anything to anyone but himself. Louis had taken a lot of the weight for the band over the years, taken the bad boy image next to Zayn, taken on the PR relationship to avoid ruining Harry’s innocence with it, and taken on the father role, even if he was a little immature…he just wanted to be Louis for a little while, just the boy from Doncaster again.

After he boarded his flight and got wrapped up in a blanket Louis nuzzled into a pillow and willed himself to fall asleep, with all the stress he was feeling, it didn’t take long for it to happen. The flight attendants walked by a couple times to ask Alberto if they needed anything and he politely declined, saying what Louis most needed was sleep and he was finally getting it.

Louis was more than just a client to Alberto, he was a friend, someone Alberto looked at like a son. He’d been specifically picked for Louis because of his previous job working with Michael Jackson and when Alberto heard he’d been requested for a boy so young he wondered how on earth Louis could need that much protection, have that many secrets, but it didn’t take long for him to find out. Louis was flamboyant, and that was put lightly, he was very open in his mannerisms and way of speech and it had never been a problem, not until their fame swept in, not until the demand for a sexually appealing boy band was put in higher demand than a happy one. Louis was forced into media training, spent hours watching videos and meeting with people to disguise who he really was, of course it was given alongside the promise of fame and fortune but the voice in Louis’ head wondered at what cost? Maybe he should have asked. Alberto came into the picture during the height of the media training, specifically on the day he was lectured about his behavior with Harry and the first night he drove Louis home he heard the small boy crying in the back seat.

 

 

> _“You alright there lad?” Alberto asked_
> 
> _“Nothing I can’t handle with a puff of my chest and a smile right?” Louis spoke between sniffles and tears falling down his cheeks._
> 
> _“Nothing about you to fix at all in my opinion but it’s not up to me is it?” Alberto spoke kindly._
> 
> _“You don’t even know me yet, not really.”_
> 
> _“I’ve seen enough of you to know that the heart that beats inside your chest is a strong one, a pure one, and that it’s got love for a certain boy with curls and I don’t see a damn thing wrong with that.”_
> 
> _“You don’t?” Louis asked. “Everyone else seems to.”_
> 
> _“I’m not everyone else.” Alberto replied, and Louis knew he was right._

 

Alberto just sighed and shook his head, moving to the seat Louis was sitting in to adjust the blanket over the small boy and he prayed that Louis was having pleasant dreams, that his mind was able to find peace, and as if to ensure it, Alberto didn’t sleep a wink, not looking away from Louis for the entire flight.

“Louis, were here.” Alberto spoke softy to wake him up.

“Already?” Louis asked, stretching his arms out above his head.

“Slept the entire flight, can’t blame you, let’s get you something to eat and we’ll get you home, sound good?”

“Perfect.” Louis smiled.

And Alberto thought it was the first real smile he’d seen out of him in days.

He wished he’d known, in hindsight, that it’d be one of the very few he saw from him in the coming months.

 

It only took a day for Oli and Calvin to decide they missed Louis too much and head to LA themselves, Alberto tried to talk Louis out if it but he just shrugged his shoulders and said his friends felt the stress too, and who was he to deny them a vacation if they wanted one?  Alberto knew it would start another argument with Harry, he wondered why Louis wasn't more concerned with that though himself, but these were questions he kept to himself, questions he decided were better left unasked.

So Friday night when the boys asked him to drive them to a few hot spots for drinks he didn't, couldn't, say no.  Alberto just smiled as he followed the boys around in a couple bars and eventually ended up in a club in the middle of LA, a pretty popular spot with a nice VIP area.  Louis was all smiles again, not as genuine as the one he shared with Alberto days before, but it was good to see anything but a frown on his face these days, so Alberto just nodded and agreed with Louis asked for more drinks.  An hour in Calvin leaned into Louis and spoke loud enough to get his attention.

"See those girls?  They're hot, we should invite them up."

"Mate this isn't about the girls, we're just here to relax, have some time off yeah?" Louis replied and realized he was a little more drunk than he'd intended.

"Partying, with girls, that's relaxing." Calvin replied with a large smile.

"Oi, what could it hurt?" Louis asked as he got up to get Alberto's attention. 

"See the group of blondes there?" Louis asked Alberto.

"Yeah, what of them?"

"Calvin wants to invite them up, might as well." Louis replied.

Alberto stood back for a moment and tried to take in Louis' state, wondering if he should try to shoot down the idea, but he was here to protect Louis, not father him for as much as he wanted to, and most often did, and tonight Louis seemed okay, so against his better judgement he asked the group of girls up to the VIP area and they all hit it off immediately.

"I can't believe you're actually here, at a club we frequently go to, what a wild night." The blonde sitting a bit too close to Louis laughed into the air.

"We're just regular lads." Louis replied with a smile.

"To a degree, but you're also a pop star, boy bander, what have you, and that is not something I expected to run into here tonight." She smiled, scooting even closer.

"Guess it's your lucky night then, innit?' Calvin spoke, breaking into the conversation.

Louis and the girl next to him just laughed.

"So what's your name?" Louis finally asked, leaning in so he could hear.

"Sasha." 

 

And that was that.

Until suddenly it was more.

 

About an hour later she was grinding against Louis and for a moment he forgot why he shouldn't be doing this, she felt good in front of him, her hips swaying back into his, hands on his thighs.  She was dancing dirtier than he would have preferred had he taken in a few less drinks, but tonight, tonight it was fine and fine grew to good and good grew to great and before he knew it she'd turned around to face him, their hips pressing close against one another and she was whispering things into his ear that made his knees a little bit weak.

Alberto took a moment to break in when he grabbed Louis' shoulder to get his attention.

"Your phone's gone off a few times mate." Alberto didn't need to tell Louis was calling, he already knew.

"I'll take care of it tomorrow." Louis replied.

"You sure about that?" Alberto asked, trying to get a read on Louis.

"Sure, sure, it'll all be fine, you'll see." Louis smiled before reaching up to pat Alberto's shoulder and turning back to Sasha to finish dancing.

 

"He looks after you." She whispered into Louis' ear.

" 's his job." He replied.

"It's a bit more than that too, but it's good, lucky to have him."  She said as she turned back around to sway to the beat of a new song.

"Wanna get out of here?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah sounds good." 

Louis walked towards the booths they'd been sitting in before to find Calvin, Oli, and Alberto, he told the lads he was ready to leave and Calvin and Oli asked if they were going to need a hotel.

"Nah mates we'll go back to the house, it'll be fine." Louis replied, inviting them all to join him as they snuck out the back entrance of the club, and maybe it wasn't his best idea after all.

 

**_July_ **

 

Louis tried to shake the memories from his head so he could get a move on, the clock showed he had about an hour left and anything he left at the home Harry promised to burn, so he needed to spend time gathering some of the more sentimental items they shared.  He took the purple jumper he loved seeing Harry in and placed it at the bottom of the box, followed by a few trinkets from one of their first beach get aways, he took a headscarf he'd bought that complimented Harry's eyes, a few of their 'boyfriend shirts' and the leather journal Harry had been papped carrying in an airport once that caused an uproar in the fandom, of course it was a journal about their lives together, but the world was meant to believe it was just another silly dream created by the Larries.  Louis felt sick, thinking of all the people he'd probably let down, or hurt, by his recent actions, none more than Harry himself.

He was crying again, sitting in the middle of the floor crying and he realized in that moment how little he had without Harry.  

He fell in love with the boy when they were young, when they were right in the middle of becoming who they were destined to be.  Harry was there for all the monumental moments in Louis' life, and Louis was there for Harry.  He realized that he didn't know who he was without Harry, and he didn't like having to try to figure it out.  The tears fell harder until Louis felt sick at his stomach and he ran to the bathroom to avoid vomiting on the carpet near their bed.

 

When Louis woke up an hour later he was in their bed, a glass of water and medicine were on the night stand next to him and there was a tiny hand written note.

'you looked really sick so I put you in bed, you started trying to say something but you were mostly asleep and I couldn't take it, I'm sorry.

you can have the rest of the afternoon to clean your things out.  

I'll be back by 8, just be gone by then. - H'

Louis drank the water, took the medicine, and threw the note from Harry in the box of things he wanted to keep.

 

7:45 flashed across his phone screen as Alberto's car pulled up to the home and he heard a knock at the door.

Alberto didn't know what to say when Louis answered the door so he just gave him a weak smile and Louis returned it.

They both knew Louis wasn't ready to handle this.

 

**_Earlier 2015_ **

 

Louis woke with a pounding headache and an empty space on the bed next to him.  For a moment he expected the footsteps coming back towards the bedroom to be Harry's, but when the door opened up and he saw blonde hair instead of brown, he knew he'd made a mistake.

"What're we doing here?" Louis asked.

"We..you...we all came back here last night after the club." The girl with the blonde hair replied, making herself comfortable in the bed again.

"Sasha, right.  Calvin and Oli came home with your friends, right?" Louis asked, rubbing his eyes, trying to piece it all back together.

"Yeah, I've actually known Calvin for a bit, not known him super closely or anything, but we were at the same club as you in January but you were with Harry most of the night so we hung out with them for a round of drinks and that was it, we remembered it once we got back here and we started doing the same dance to a song that came on your iPod.  Small world isn't it?" She smiled.

"Very small." Louis replied, reaching over her to grab his phone. 

"Fuck." He spoke aloud, seeing the missed calls and texts from Harry.

 

'Louis, I'm sorry, just call me okay?'

'Louis, I love you.'

'I hate it when we don't talk.'

'I cleaned the glass off the bedroom floor but I hope you know I just put the photo in a different frame.'

'Alberto says you're at a club, way to hide out.'

'Sorry that was rude.'

'Whatever.'

'So was that one.'

'I love you, please call.'

 

"I should go downstairs and make a phone call." Louis said as he pulled on a pair of sweat pants he left hanging over a chair next to the bed and made his way down the hall and towards the stairs.

It only rang twice before a voice on the other line answered.

"I'm sorry, I love you. I love you." Harry told him, not letting Louis get a word in. "I know you're stressed, you've done so much for us, not just you and I, but the band in general, I know it's a lot Louis, it's always been a lot and it's on your shoulders and I love you.  I'm proud of you.  You make me so proud and I get it, I know that you needed time alone and I am not mad, I'm not, I just want you to come home, come home and relax with me.  We'll go somewhere, a beach again, I want to get some sun with you, it'll be like the time when we were young, remember?  You were insatiable, just...come home." 

"Harry."

"No, please, just...come home?"

"Louis." An unfamiliar voice came through the phone and Harry was curious as to who was speaking.

"Louis who's that?" Harry asked.

"Just a friend of Calvin's." He replied, making a quiet hand gesture at Sasha.

"Oh...are you all at a hotel?"

"No...home."

"Our home?"

"...yes."

"Why are there girls at our home Louis?" Harry's tone went from understanding to a little bit bitter.

"Just, we were all too drunk last night for me to feel okay sending Oli and Calvin off to a hotel, we didn't book one in advance like we do sometimes.  I dropped the ball, but you're right Harry, I miss you and I'm coming home, okay? I'm coming home today." Louis told him, trying to make Harry stop asking questions.

"Please, do you promise?"

"I promise." Louis replied smiling into the phone.

"I love you Lou."

"I love you too curly. I'll be home, home to you soon."

 

The call ended and the blonde walked into the kitchen to grab a cup off the counter.

 

"Guess we've outstayed our welcome." She replied with a forced grin on her face.

"No, it's not that, it's...I have a habit of running away from my problems, clearly...and I just need to get home and see him, fix all this there.  I can get a hotel for you all for the next few nights, think of it as my way of saying sorry for running out, and we can get together next time we're in town, okay?  You're a lovely girl, I had a lot of fun last night." Louis told her as he opened his arms for a hug.

"I did too." She replied as she let herself fall into the embrace. "Especially once we got back here." She smiled over her shoulder and winked at Louis before walking out of the kitchen and Louis knew in that moment that things had wen't much farther than he'd meant for them too last night.

"Sasha." Louis called out as he made his way back into his bedroom. "Oh, sorry, sorry." Louis blushed when he realized he'd walked in on her changing.

"Nothing you didn't see last night." She giggled as she turned her back to Louis, throwing a shirt over her head.

"Look, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about...you see..."

"You're dating Harry, I know...you gave me a brief run down last night.  Look, we can write this off as a drunken mistake and we can stay friends, alright?  I don't really need the publicity in my life or the confusion and you seem pretty taken by him just after a few moments of a phone call, I'm not one to come in between that sort of love." She smiled and for the moment Louis allowed himself to believe she was genuine.

"You're a really chill girl, it'll be nice to have a friend like you around, bit awkward at first maybe, considering...but nice nonetheless." Louis said as he gathered the few belongings he was taking with him back to London and made his way out of the room.  

Louis had a quick shower, followed by a quicker change, and asked Alberto to take him to the air port.  He walked into the living room to see his group of friends sitting in the dining room eating breakfast.

"I already told Sasha but I'm going to get you all a hotel for the next few days, as an apology for running, you all have fun and I'll see you lads when you get back to the UK alright?" Louis told them all.

"We'll miss you mate." Calvin told him as he stood to get a hug from Louis.

"You'll have so much fun you won't even notice I'm gone." Louis told him as he walked towards the door, waving a final goodbye before Alberto shut the door behind him.

 

"You're doing the right thing." Alberto told Louis.

"I feel kind of sick." Louis replied. "I made a mistake last night and I don't know...I don't want to tell Harry." Louis admitted sheepishly.

"Maybe right now just...don't." Alberto told him, and Louis decided not to question it. 

 

It was a long flight, Louis was jet lagged, but he was home and as Alberto pulled into the driveway the sick feeling in him left and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Harry and kiss him until he lost sense of anything in the world other than Louis.

"Go get him." Alberto smiled as Louis jumped out of the back seat and ran towards the house.  It was late and Louis was sure Harry would be asleep so he unlocked the door, sat his bags down by their sofa, and quietly made his way to their bedroom.  

Louis' suspicions were confirmed when he saw Harry's curls laid out on the silk pillowcase they got during their last beach vacation.  It was an off white color which made his curls look even darker and gave his skin a glow.  Louis wanted to take it all in so he grabbed the camera Harry kept close by their bed and took a photo of the boy he loved, lost in sleep in the bed they shared and it was okay, everything was going to be okay.  He reached to the table beside their bed to lay the camera down when he felt Harry begin to startle in his sleep.  Louis immediately stilled, wanting to let his love sleep, but Harry realized that Louis was home and looked up at him with big doe eyes and it was all Louis could do to not tear him apart right there.

 

But that's exactly what Harry wanted.

"Louis yes, fuck yes yes yes." Harry screamed into Louis' mouth as Louis fucked into him roughly, hitting his prostate with every thrust.

Harry had opened himself up before Louis got home so they didn't have to spend time prepping him.  There were ten minutes of sloppy passionate kisses and Louis fucking Harry's mouth before the older boy couldn't stand it anymore and he flipped Harry over on his back and pressed quickly inside of him. 

"Missed you, fuck, missed this so much." Louis spoke into Harry's mouth.

"You. God, Louis, fuck, you were only gone for a couple days." Harry tried to speak, losing most of the effort in the way he felt falling apart underneath the weight of Louis and his love.

"Felt like months, never want to leave you again, never want to be anywhere but right here, in this bed, fucking you into the mattress.  Do you have any idea how beautiful you look Harry, how completely blissed out you look.  Your lips are all bitten red, your cheeks are flushed and I...fuck...I'm close, Harry 'm close."

"Me too Louis, fuck me too."

Louis stopped talking and started fucking into Harry harder, pinning the younger boy's hands up above his head, pressing him hard into the mattress as he leaned down to bite his neck as they both reached their orgasm together.  Louis gently pulled out of Harry after their breathing slowed and curled up around the younger boy, knowing how much Harry loved to be the little spoon. 

"Never leaving again, never leaving you." Louis whispered into Harry's ear as they fell asleep tangled in each other. 

 

 

_**July** _

 

"I can't do this." Louis fell to his knees by the front door, shaking the latest vision from his head. "Alberto I can't fucking do this."

"Louis, Louis...it's...come here." Alberto took a knee next to the smaller boy and held him while he cried in his arms.

"I can't leave, I can't walk out of here.  It'll make it real, it's all real when I go and I can't go, I can't go yet." Louis scrambled up to his feet and ran to the kitchen where Harry always kept a note pad to remind them what to buy at the store.

He grabbed a pen and sat on the floor of their kitchen, leaned against the stove, and began to write.

'I can't do this without you, I don't want to.  It should be you, it should be you and I the way we planned it when we were young, you remember, at your parents house that first week, before we'd even really known each other, we just knew, knew it was meant to be you and I forever.  This isn't real, it can't be real, it's not happening.  I just, I need you Harry, I can't do this without you.  Please know that I made a mistake, a mistake I wish I could undo and it doesn't make up for the pain I've caused...but I think if I have to live without you I'll give up, it doesn't make sense, none of this makes sense and I can't...I can't...'

But the ink smeared after that because the tears were falling from his eye and he stopped to wipe them away at the same moment he heard the door open and he dropped everything and rose to his feet.

 

"I thought I told you I'd be home by 8, I needed you gone Louis, I needed you to leave before I got back here." Harry spoke, monotone, while looking above Louis out their kitchen window.

"I tr...I..." Louis couldn't speak, he couldn't do it.

"Harry he was close." Alberto began. "I walked in to help him get the things to the car and we were just leaving, I'll take the box out and come back for him."

"Just, fuck, can you just give us a moment." Harry asked Alberto. "I...fuck. I just...."

"Yeah, of course, I'll be waiting outside." Alberto nodded and quietly left the house, the silence between Harry and Louis was even more deafening.

 

Louis knew in that moment that this was it.  He stood with shaky knees and knew that if he didn't do it now, he'd never do it again, and that was motivation enough.

Louis walked forward, at a hurried pace, and almost as it if were a reflex Harry let his arms fall open to his sides which gave Louis the last push he needed.  He threw himself into Harry's open arms and wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and when Harry moved his hands to hold Louis up Louis gathered the last bit of courage and pressed his lips quickly into Harry's.  There was a passion in the kiss, a neediness, it was both of them knowing that this was it, this was the moment  before everything broke and just for a second they wanted to hold on to the last tangible part of them that existed.  Harry took Louis' mouth, owned it like he did many nights before, bit Louis' bottom lip until the older boy was moaning into his mouth.  He put his large hand on the back of Louis' neck and pulled him impossibly close, like he needed him this way just one more time, like he'd die if he didn't get it.  Louis felt it too, the need, the urgency as he allowed himself to be taken over by Harry, allowed himself to fall into this one last time.

"Upstairs?" Louis asked.

"No, fuck. Louis. No." Harry replied, dropping the younger boy to his feet. "You don't get to sit here in this home, in what was our home and ask me if I want to go upstairs with you, an upstairs where you had a very blonde girl who in fact was not me in bed not even months ago.  Fuck. You were supposed to be fucking gone when I came home." There was no anger in Harry's tone, it was broken, he was crying and he wasn't supposed to be the one who was vulnerable.

"You did this. You fucking did this and I'm crying, I'm fucking crying in front of you.  I want you to leave Louis, walk out of this house and don't ever come back." Harry spat the words at him, this time the anger had returned, Harry not wanting to look weak in front of the boy who'd taken his heart from his chest and broken it into a thousand pieces.

"Harry I can't, I can't force myself to walk out that door, when I do...Harry when I do it's all real, everything is real then..."

"It's been real Louis, fuck don't you get it.  It was real when you got home from vacation and you made love to me.  You made love to me after you'd fucked her and you acted like it didn't happen.  You pretended through our vacation, through our time together during our days off, you didn't let me know there was anything going on when you were with her in LA, even when I asked if she was different, you assured me she wasn't...she's been different all along Louis, you lied to me for MONTHS and you would have gotten away with it too had she not been at the party that night and..." Harry had to stop talking, he felt like he was going to get sick.

"Harry."

"No, I'm..." Harry began to vomit, on the floor, and he fell to his knees, tears still streaming down his cheeks and for as much as Louis knew Harry desperately wanted him to leave, he also needed him to stay, he needed someone to get him cleaned up and into bed.

It was a struggle at first, to get Harry to work with him, but an hour later Harry was bathed, given water, and put to bed in one of their guest bedrooms, claiming he couldn't bare to go into the room they used to share together.

"So I guess I'll be...I'll be on my way then." Louis told Harry as he stroked a curl out of his eye and back across his face.

"Yeah, Alberto is waiting." 

"I...yeah you're right." 

"Goodbye Louis."

"Harry, you know...I mean...we still have to finish a tour, I...I just wish you'd..."

"Louis. I just need you out of my house, okay, I just can't stand knowing that anytime I come home you could be here, I don't care about anything else right now except you just leaving.  I just need you to go."

"Okay, okay Harry I'll go...I just...I wrote y..fuck, never mind." Louis got up from the bed and walked out of the guest room, closing the door behind him, not looking back once.

 

Louis was in the kitchen looking for the letter when he felt a large hand wrap around his waist and pull him up.

 

"I thought I asked you to leave." Harry spoke, but his voice didn't contain the sting Louis was anticipating.

"I just...I wanted to put the letter I wrote for...." Louis was cut off, but not by words.

Harry was wrapping the younger boy up in his arms, walking towards the counter and sitting him on top of it.  He leaned in and began to bite at the sensitive skin right behind Louis's ear, a spot that he knew made the younger boy weak.

"Harry.  Harry please."

"Please what?"

"Ple...Please keep going."

Harry took a breath, like he was considering pulling back and stopping it again, but instead he shook his head and leaned in close, taking Louis' skin between his teeth, biting, marking, sucking, tasting...

"Mine." Harry growled into Louis' neck.

"Mine." He said as he bit at Louis' collar bone.

"Mine." He said as he grabbed Louis' face and looked deep into his greeny blue eyes.

"You. Are. Mine." Harry told him as he picked Louis up in his arms and carried him upstairs.

 

Harry led them to the guest room that Louis had helped him into just a bit earlier.  

Louis wanted to stop him, to ask questions, to figure out what was going on, but he didn't want this to end, the last time he spoke when Harry was kissing him he fucked it all up.  He decided to stay quiet until he was spoken to this time.

"You're all mine." Harry told him as he worked the shirt off his body, followed by his sweat pants until his body was completely unclothed and Louis was looking up at him, taking in the tattoos and his tan skin and his hips and it was making Louis' mouth water.

Harry took his time getting back to Louis body.  He hovered over him, bringing his lips close to Louis' skin and pulling away, teasing him, watching the older boy underneath of him completely fall apart.  He liked the way Louis was struggling to catch his breath, the way sweat beads were pooling on his skin, the way his eyes were completely blown, and how his bottom lip was bitten so red that Harry wanted to capture the color and keep it there forever.

"Need to get these off." Harry said as he lifted Louis' hips and worked the shorts down his legs. "This too." He said as he pulled Louis' shirt up over his head. 

Louis had been naked in front of Harry more than he'd been clothed in front of Harry, but this was the first and only time he'd ever felt this open and vulnerable, he wondered if this is what it was like for Harry when Louis had control.  Was it just because Louis had messed up so bad and it was the guilt showing itself, trying to break the moment?  Harry must have known that Louis was getting lost in his thoughts because he quickly moved back into action, bringing Louis back to the moment.

"I hated you, I hated you for ten entire seconds before I loved you again." Harry whispered into the skin on Louis' neck as he pressed kisses and bites into it. "I'm a bit pathetic, I could only be mad at you for ten seconds." 

"Not..not pathetic." Louis responded with hardly any breath in his lungs.

"It is, fucking terrible, but I can't fucking get past you." Harry was moving his mouth lower now, kissing against Louis' tummy that he loved so much.  

"Can't...can't...Harry please."

"Please what?" Harry asked again.

"Please, more." Louis mumbled, feeling even more vulnerable but being unable to stop, knowing Harry needed to hear him like this.

"I've got you." Harry promised as he moved his mouth even lower, biting into Louis' hip.

Louis' back arched up off the mattress as he tried to keep still but the sensation was overwhelming because Harry was relentless, and he'd moved down from Louis' hips to his thighs and he was biting into them and scratching the skin and pressing so hard Louis knew he'd have bruises and he wanted it, wanted more.  He never wanted to stop feeling Harry like this, and Harry could always read Louis better than anyone, so he snuck a finger and then two into his mouth as he continued biting into Louis' thighs and once they were wet enough he slowly pulled them out of his mouth and moved his hand down the mattress close to Louis' opening.  He adjusted his body so that he was hovering over Louis again, hand ready to push in to Louis and as soon as he began to Louis shot up and Harry caught his mouth in a deep kiss.  

Louis should have been uncomfortable at that angle but he wasn't, it was the most full he'd felt in months, full of love, full of Harry. His mouth was being owned, his ass being scissored open and his heart, his heart even felt Harry again and he was going to hold onto this while he could.  He threw his head back against the mattress and Harry moved quickly back down his body, pressing kisses into his chest, biting his nipples as he worked a third finger inside and curled them just right so that with the next thrust upwards he hit Louis' prostate directly and made him scream out HARRYHARRYHARRY.

Harry was high on it, high on the way Louis was wrecked beneath him without even being properly fucked, he was high on the way Louis needed him, but a little part of him, a part he wouldn't admit out loud, was high on the fact that it was Louis back in bed with him, that Louis had taken so long to pack his things that he'd still been home when Harry got there, and if Harry had bargained with God about it earlier, no one had to know.

"Harry, need more."

"What do you need baby?"

"Need you; need your cock."

"Want me to fuck you, want me to fuck you so hard you can't remember anything but me?"

"Please, fuck, please." 

"I've got you baby. I've got you." Harry promised as he pulled his fingers out of Louis and wiped them on the mattress.  He spit in his hand and slicked himself up before aligning himself with Louis' hole.

"Ready, ready now." Louis told him as he shook his hips, inviting Harry inside.

Harry wasted no more time.

In one swift move he bottomed out inside of Louis, causing them both to lose their breath.

"Fuck." Louis shouted once he got oxygen back inside his lungs.

"Baby." Harry moaned as he pulled out and thrust back in.

It was rough, it was passionate, it was the kind of sex you have when you know you've got the world to lose and things are hard but you'd rather risk it all than live without each other.  It was the kind of sex you have when you're enveloped by someone completely; spirit, body, and mind.

It was the kind of sex Harry hoped to have with Louis forever.

Harry looked down at Louis and noticed tears falling from his eyes, he slowed his motions and propped himself up on one arm while he used the other to wipe a tear from Louis' cheek.

"Whats wrong?" He asked, voice immediately soft.

"Nothing, nothing, please...just keep going." Louis begged.

"No, not until you tell me why you're crying." Harry demanded, looking at Louis pleadingly.

"I just...I was so scared you were actually gone Harry..I was so scared I'd actually lost you that I just...I want this to last forever, I need to feel you like this for as long as I can, just incase it's the last time."

Harry lifted himself back up, grabbed Louis hands and pulled them up over his head, he laced their fingers together and began moving in and out of Louis slowly.  So slowly that Louis was on the verge of tears again, in a different way this time, before Harry leaned down and met him in a passionate kiss.  

Maybe it was the way their lips met, the way Harry chased Louis' tongue slowly around their mouths, the way he let little moans fall into Louis.  Maybe it was the way Harry angled his hips just perfectly so Louis could feel every part of the slow drag in and out of him, or maybe it was the look in Harry's eyes that screamed love instead of hate for the first time in months but Louis came apart underneath Harry with 'i love you' falling from his lips and when he clenched around Harry, the younger boy climaxed too, bringing them to their orgasms together.

Louis' breathing slowed before Harry's and it made his heart a little bit nervous, until he realized that the look on Harry's face wasn't one of anger any longer, or confusion, it was a look of familiarity, of home.

 

"I love you." Harry whispered weakly into Louis' chest. "I love you so much I don't think I'd make it without you, but this can't...something like that with her, it just can't ever happen again okay?  I don't think I'd survive it."

"Harry I love you, I love you so much and I promise, I swear nothing like that will ever happen again.  You've always been so brave, so strong, I'll be more like you Harry I promise.  I love you so much, so bloody much I can't believe you're here, I can't believe you let me stay."

"Never want to leave you Louis, never really wanted you to go."

"I never wanted to..."

 

Harry stood up from the bed, going to get a cloth to wipe their bodies down with and when he came back into the room he noticed Louis had adjusted himself so that he was lying on his back with his upper body propped against a pillow.  Harry smiled as he walked towards the bed and cleaned Louis off, tossing the cloth on the floor before climbing back into bed.

"Sleepy." Harry murmured as he cuddled into Louis and closed his eyes.

"I love you. Rest."

"You're staying, right?" Harry asked, voice shaking, almost like he was the one worried now.

"I'm never leaving you curly, not ever."

Harry let out a happy hum as he nuzzled into Louis' neck and Louis realized in that moment that Harry had given him the most perfect part of himself, his heart, and Louis made a vow to never again handle it without care.

 

 

 


End file.
